We can compare the child who
is still in the process of building his personality to a home that is in the building process, and the adult to a finished home. Of course, the finished house continues to be cleaned, decorated, perfected, repaired and renovated, but in principle it is ready to begin to fulfill its destiny and serve its tenants rather than them serving and working for it.
During construction, it’s no shame if the house is dirty, if it’s a mess and lacks all sorts of basic functions. It’s under construction. But it is shameful when even a little of the dust and dirt that is in a house under construction is in a finished and populated dwelling, and it is shameful if only some of its basic systems – water and electricity and sewerage – are not functioning.
It is also the way an adult feels if there are piles of dirt in his soul or when he is not functioning properly. There is a certain behavior which is natural for a child and for an adult it is shameful.
But we can forgive ourselves and forgive others for this inner imperfection (which often does shout to the sky) if we paint ourselves a picture of a house that has gone through, say a bombing, an earthquake or a hurricane. In that case, we will not rush to judgment when cracks are discovered in the house, if its systems are faulty, and there is mayhem and dirt.
From such a sympathetic and forgiving approach and once we stop trying to hide and cover up what is defective, we can be harnessed to the restoration and cleanup work. First, the restoration of our soul.